Trying to Live Without You
by Lady Guardian
Summary: Yuna defeats Sin and returns from Luca with her guardians. One back in Besaid, she has to try to come to terms with losing Tidus. Just a one chapter fic. My first ever fanfic, please R&R!


"Yuna?" Wakka called, standing outside her hut in Besaid Village. "It's time for-," he moved aside the curtain that served as a doorway and broke off. There was no one there.

He let out a heavy sigh and turned, heading out of the village towards the cliffs.

Yuna stood on the highest cliff overlooking the sea. With fierce fervor, she put her fingers in her mouth and whistled. She paused, looking all around her. Then she whistled again. And again, and again. Finally she dropped to the ground in a fit of weeping.

Not long after her tears subsided, she heard footsteps and a voice behind her. "Yuna?"

She took a deep breath and kept her face resolutely toward the horizon and the setting sun.

"Yuna, you got to come home," Wakka said. "You've been coming here every day for the last two weeks, ever since we got back from Luca. It's not good for you."

She stayed silent.

Behind her, Wakka sighed and walked up to sit next to her. He let a moment pass, then spoke.

"Look. I miss him too. He was like a brother to me, ya? But, Yuna…" Wakka paused, trying to think how best to go on. "He's gone, Yuna. He won't be coming back. But you…you need to get on with your life."

Yuna drew a deep, shuddering breath. Wakka's words fell on her like sharp shards of ice, though she knew he didn't mean to hurt her. His words hurt because they were the truth.

"I mean…you got rid of Sin, for good! You got your whole life ahead of you. You're a hero to all of Spira! Now that you got the chance, you need to live, ya?"

Tears began silently streaking down Yuna's face again. For the first time since he had come up to the cliff, Yuna looked at Wakka.

"But that's just it." Her words came in an anguished whisper. "He promised me…he promised me he would save me. And he did. He did, but…" she shook her head fiercely. "I never imagined that if I got the chance to live again…it would be without him."

Wakka leaned over and awkwardly hugged Yuna around the shoulders. "I know. I know, Yuna. But that's not the way it happened, and we all gotta come to terms with it, ya?"

Yuna gave a slight, almost imperceptible nod.

"Come on back to the village. You gotta eat somethin', ya?"

"I…I'd like to stay here a little while longer," Yuna said, looking down.

Wakka hesitated. "I dunno…"

"Please, Wakka." She looked up at him. "I'll be okay, I promise. I just want…to say goodbye."

Wakka stood. "Okay, but only if you come back soon. It's getting dark, ya?"

"Thank you." She looked down at the grass as he walked off. Then she lifted her face to the horizon. The sun sank lower into the water with each passing moment. Yuna almost wished she could go with it. To a place where no one knew her, where no one expected things of her. To a place where the pain would go away.

Wakka stood in the doorway of his hut, staring out into the darkness. "Ahhhh," he growled in frustration. He whirled around to face Lulu, who was standing behind him. "She's still not back yet!"

Ever calm and serene, Lulu stayed silent and watched Wakka pace.

"There's fiends out there, especially at night! I keep trying to tell her she needs to stop this, but she won't listen!"

"Wakka." Wakka stopped and looked at Lulu.

"You're right. And she's right. She's grieving, and this is the only way she knows how." Lulu put a hand to her head. "But she does need to get on with her life."

Wakka sighed with frustration. "Will you go talk to her?" he asked.

A smile, almost, crossed Lulu's face. "I was hoping you'd ask." She crossed the hut to the door. "I'll bring her back for the night." With a rustle of her lace skirts, she was off into the night.

It was dark, and getting chilly. There were fiends about, Yuna knew, and she didn't have her staff. But somehow, she couldn't bring herself to care.

"You've gotten yourself into quite the state, haven't you?"

Yuna jumped a foot, startled by the low, silk smooth voice from behind her. She leapt up and turned around.

With her black dress and hair, Lulu blended almost seamlessly into the night. She took a few steps toward Yuna, and was silent for a moment.

Neither woman spoke for a few minutes. Finally Lulu broke the silence.

"You need to go on from here, Yuna."

"I…I'm trying," Yuna said in a voice strained with tears. "But I…I don't know how."

Lulu wrapped the younger girl in a tight embrace, then stepped back. "I know, Yuna. I of all people understand."

It took Yuna a moment to realize what Lulu was talking about. Then her eyes widened in comprehension. "Chappu?"

"Yes." Lulu was silent a moment before she continued. "When he died, I felt the way you do now. Like life without him was no life at all. I remember the day I got the news, I stood on this very cliff and considered throwing myself off."

Yuna's eyes widened at that admission. Lulu always seemed so stoic, so emotionless, that Yuna couldn't even imagine her contemplating such a thing.

"But only for a moment, did that thought cross my mind," Lulu continued. "Yet for the next few weeks, I remained in my hut, refusing to speak to anyone."

Yuna nodded. "I remember. I was younger then…I knew you were sad, but I couldn't even begin to imagine how deep it went."

Lulu nodded. "But do you know what brought me back?"

Yuna shook her head.

"You and Wakka. I knew that you still needed to be watched over and taken care of, and Wakka was grieving as deeply as I was. In a way, he needed to be take care of too. And I had to be strong enough to do it."

Lulu lapsed into silence then, staring out across the dark water as Yuna considered her words. At long last, Lulu spoke again.

"Yuna, you are not alone. You have a family here. Wakka and I are your family. Kimahri is your family, though he's on Mount Gagazet. Rikku is your family, though she's not here all the time. We all love you. Never think that you are alone."

Tears filled Yuna's eyes as Lulu's words sank in. She turned and fell into her friend's, her sister's, arms.

"You're right, Lulu," Yuna said quietly. "I know you're right." She straightened up. "No more sitting up here all alone. No more drowning in my sorrow. I'll try my very best to live. I will, Lulu."

Lulu gave her one last squeeze, then released her. "Now come back to the village. Wakka's worried sick."

Lulu turned and started back down the embankment. Yuna hesitated for a moment, then turned back to the cliff's edge. She took a deep breath, put her fingers in her mouth, and whistled shrilly. After a moment, she turned away and started back to the village.


End file.
